Posts Tagged ‘LOL’
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELLIE PICKLER!!!
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com

Besides being Southern, and having bad driving habits, another thing I share in common with Pickler is her birthday. I’ve posted several articles on the blonde twangy twizzler and today, I post once more to celebrate her awesomeness. Joining me in turning a year older, Pickler, who recently announced her engagement to Kyle Jacobs, celebrated her 24th yesterday (June 28th).
Check out one of my favorite Pickler moments via 2006’s MTV Movie Awards.
An oldie but goodie!
[Sidenote: Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes, messages, and love. I genuinely appreciate the thoughts and gestures! Also, thank you to everyone who supports BTB currently. The site would be nothing without an audience, so thank you to all readers who continue to come back Monday-Friday every week to read what's on our minds musically.]
AFTERGLO: THE RISE OF GLOZELL [EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW]
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com

GloZell Green isn’t blonde. She’s not fabricated, nor plastic, and she doesn’t speak in a Valley Girl accent. She’s not a size zero. She doesn’t wake up to a bottle of Jack, nor does she stumble out of hot spots late at night ingesting drugs. What’s wonderful about GloZell is that she doesn’t wish to be any of these things. Although she currently resides in Los Angeles, where this type of idea is pushed down one’s throat in order to get a break, GloZell is breaking out on her own terms, without the fake/tired hysterics of Hollywood. In the spark that is her life, she admits times when she fought the battle of acceptance, a battle in which she won, finally landing in a world where she has come to love herself, a world in which countless others have followed, coming together in a celebration for the hysterical comedic brilliance that she did not contrive, for GloZell Green is one of those rare talents that simply is who she is. There’s meat on her bones, expressions on her face that would make the most animated cartoon appear dull, and most importantly, a heart inside her chest that chooses to embrace all, no matter their color or experience, a heart that truly is as big as her ever-changing hair.
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing GloZell twice (our first interview had numerous technical difficulties; charming, considering this sort of reality show drama seems to follow her wherever she goes). We dished on her background, the journey to self-acceptance, Ke$ha, Bieber, Sean Kingston, Gaga, and other pop turf, plus my push for her to compete for her own show via Oprah Winfrey’s contest for her new network, OWN.
Listen to the interview in full (parts 1 & 2 below).
PLEASE BE SURE TO VOTE FOR GLOZELL TO HAVE HER OWN SHOW by clicking here. [Spread the word!]
And be sure to check out GloZell in action below (with her brand new translation of Eminem’s just-released single ft. Rihanna, and the classic Tik Tok translation following).
Eminem/Rihanna: Love The Way You Lie Translation
Ke$ha: Tik Tok Translation
CELINE DION GITS-R-DONE, INSTALLS EPIC WATERPARK IN DA BACK YARD
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com

Seriously, someone must’ve told Celine Dion that she could turn her backyard into a Titanic-sized theme park because the Canadian songstress has got-r-done!
The new addition requires 500,000 gallons of water and costs $20 million to install into the singer’s Jupiter Island, Florida, estate. The waterpark includes two gigantic pools, water slides, and a “lazy river” that propels swimmers around the aquatic Arcadia.
Apparently the shenanigans caused a minor drought and neighbors are not too thrilled. Shocker!
Here at BTB, we never spill (get it?) gossip because we think it’s lame–the only reason I bring this up, is from an environmentally eco standpoint, this shiz has got to go! Seriously.
Celine was fined for the massive use of water and had to construct six wells on the property to store enough water to keep the pipes pumping for the 6.5 million gallons needed to run the water park each year.
Ehh, maybe I’m just a bit jealous? But for real for real, what was she thinking?
Allow me to be a Debbie Downer for a hot minute because I think it’s worth sharing, as many are not aware of the tragic facts surrounding water, a luxury that we often take for granted.
Water problems affect half of humanity:
// Some 1.1 billion people in developing countries have inadequate access to water.
// Almost two in three people lacking access to clean water survive on less than $2 a day.
// Access to piped water into the household averages about 85% for the wealthiest 20% of the population, compared with 25% for the poorest 20%.
// 1.8 billion people who have access to a water source within 1 kilometre, but not in their house or yard, consume around 20 litres per day. In the United Kingdom the average person uses more than 50 litres of water a day flushing toilets (where average daily water usage is about 150 liters a day. The highest average water use in the world is in the US, at 600 liters day.)
To find out more, click the banner below.

FACE-OFF: GLOZELL VS. $ & RIHANNA
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com

Let’s face facts: Mondays can suck. In a scheme to counteract the symptoms of wanting to slap your boss in the face with a ruler, I thought I would do a little feature to Glozelle and two of her hilarious vids featuring an in-depth look at two of radio’s popular diddys.
Check it!
Ke$ha: Tik Tok Translation
Rihanna: Rude Boy Translation
GAGA IN MORSE CODE: BABA BEEP BEEP
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com
PA PA PA Product Placement
You may have already seen this parody but if not, check it! All I can say is, hilarious. Besides the comedic vaule (the Beyonce character is pretty funny in this clip), I found myself nodding in agreement to the points being made.
Hope this brightens up your day a little.
COOL COMBO: LARRY KING & SNOOP
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com
Laaaid back, wit mah mind on mah money and mah money on mah mind.

Larry King upped his street cred recently as the legendary host took rapper D-O-double G out for a spin in this mustard colored converitble. The only thing missing was some gold teeth.
Snoop Dogg is scheduled to appear on Larry King Live on Friday.
If there’s one photo I thought I’d never see in my life, this may be one of them. It’s pretty funny, almost as funny as the “Attention Fail” video from the infamous Fail Blog, I ran into yesterday. For some reason, this made me laugh til’ I almost cried. So awesome.
Check it!
POP MUSIC STINKFEST: KE$HA FARTS, BOWERSOX RE-INSTILLS HOPE
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com
Someone get the record labels some Febreze, please!
Anyone with an ear can agree that TIK TOK is one catchy tune. I would be lying if I said I didn’t blast that diddy on repeat for a good month or two. But I’ve got to say, although I really like TIK TOK, I’m afraid the rest of Ke$ha’s debut did nothing for me. And duuude–what was up with her performance of BLAH BLAH BLAH (ft. 30h!3) last night on American Idol?! I felt like I might need a painkiller to get through it. With her screechy squeakster voice and her Indian headgear and flashing TVs, I was distracted and not amused whatsoever.
Living in New York, I meet some incredibly talented people, many in which I feel should have a record deal or an acting gig but they do not. Hell, I even see bums on the street with a trash can and a fork who seem to have more talent than half of the pop stars that are shoved down our throats each day on mainstream radio. Now, I love some good cheesy tunes, but at the end of the day I am tired of the crap. With the overexcess of “artists” who try way too hard with ridiculous giddups and phony attitudes, it’s all starting to severely stink.
Perhaps this is one reason why I find Crystal Bowersox downright refreshing. There’s no antics. No gimmicks needed, it’s just her and her guitar and a soul that’s been through the ringer a few times. Other than Crystal and a select one or two other contestants, this season feels very BLAH BLAH BLAH (pun intended) to me.
Check out someone who is never blah. The girl who will make you pee your pants: MIRANDA (and her cover of Tik Tok, below). Genius!
THE GREAT GAGA DEBATE CONTINUES
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com
When Telephone premiered, many were torn with conflicting opinions.
Yesterday I stumbled across the video below and had an LOLgasm. It’s almost like Quaadir Howard from Youtube read my mind exactly. Well, minus the Beyonce parts (of course).
Even if you agree or disagree with what he is saying, it’s still HAAAAA-LARIOUS! So don’t take it too personally if you don’t agree. It’s all about respect, and this is just another opinion among many.
For a good laugh, check it out. And be warned, he throws cuss words right and left.
MY TEEF / THE LIL WAYNE REMIX
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com

MY TEEF BE GOLD
MY TEEF COST A MILLI
MY TEEF CHOMP BULLETS
MY TEEF AIN’T SILLY
Just a little tune I’m working on…
So I have to go to the dentist tomorrow and I’m nervous because, well, I hate going to the dentist! Just the thought of someone putting a foreign object into my mouth and scraping my teeth with it makes me want to hurl (do people still say hurl?). But, as Gloria Gaynor once eloquently said: I WILL SURVIVE!
And with teeth and survival, I now turn to Lil’ Wayne.
A fire broke out around 10:30am yesterday at Manhattan’s Criminal Court where Lil Wayne was set to be sentenced. Now, the rapper’s court case for attempted criminal possession of a weapon has been postponed. There was a “little fire, but no Lil Wayne,” David Bookstaver, a spokesman for the Office of Court Administration, told Billboard.com. Bookstaver also added that the hearing has been re-scheduled for today. Great news for the rapper I suppose, who recently underwent hours of dental procedures to get his diamond encrusted teeth ready for prison. Can you believe someone would pay $150,000 to screw up their teeth with diamonds? Nuts.
Lil Wayne released a statement to his fans via twitter: “ They kant lok up my heart bekuz y’all already have it on lok. ……thank u.”
I’m going to hope that his poor spelling and grammar are due to Twitter’s space limits.
Here’s to wishing my teef & Lil’ Wayne the best of luck.
And now, for your viewing pleasure, I’ve added the clip below. Please excuse his language! I just found the video to be very entertaining. LOL-away folks. Peace!
GIVING UP KELLIE PICKLER FOR LENT
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com

After moving to New York City almost two years ago, I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are some things I will forever miss about the South. Number 1 on that list: Fun girls. Yes, I said it! Prime example, Kellie Pickler. When I see her, I just smile. The same goes for Dolly Parton, Taylor Swift,…you get the point. And since I’ve been missing my twang, I’ve been making up for it by watching videos like the one below on repeat. Perhaps I should give up YouTubing Kellie Pickler for Lent ha?
Nah, in all seriousness, I’ve decided this year to give up pop. NO, NOT POP MUSIC (that would be the death of me)…but pop, ya know, soda, Coke, RC Cola (if ya country). Actually, I had already stopped drinking it about a week ago, but with Lent starting today, I think soda is actually a good thing to rid myself of. It all started once I did some research on aspartame (fake sugar found in diet soda) and officially freaked out. Turns out, stuff can create memory loss, among other things. And I am not including the fact that caffeine turns me into a crazy person.
Speaking of crazy persons/back to blondes, Kellie Pickler was on Ellen recently and it totally made my day.
There’s not a better way to start Lent than to see Pickler speak some twang.
Watch the hilarity, below.
DRAKE TWEENS OUT FOR TAYLOR SWIFT
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com
“Seeing Taylor Swift in person is always fun for me,” Drake told Extra on the night of the Grammys. “I bought this Taylor Swift T-shirt the other day that I might wear tonight.”
Although Drake didn’t wear any Swift tee onstage for his performance of “Forever,” alongside Eminem, Lil Wayne and Travis Barker, he swiftly opens up about being a proud Taylor supporter. “I just have this small little thing with her; I just like her whole being. I’m excited about her career,” he said, adding he’d like to get into the studio with her. “That would be nice, I’m down!”
A Drake/Swift collaboration? It sounds a bit strange but with the right song/production team, I think it could be cool.
Swift has meshed her sound with hip hop in the past. Who could forget her little diddy with T-Pain for the VMAs? Just for flashback purposes (and because I love the part when she gets bleeped out), here’s THUG STORY, in all its glory. Hey, that rhymed!
SNOOKI. THE GRAMMYS. ENOUGH SAID.
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com
PA PA PA Pickle Face, PA PA Pickle Face.

Snooki Snooki Snooki
Where you be?
Your hair bump & fist pumps hypnotize me
And I just love your classy ways
I guess that’s why girls are jealous because you’re so paid
Ok, I’m done remixing Snooki into songs, although I do have more up my sleeve. I best not see my wonderful lyrics up on Youtube or I’ll sue. Moving on…
I was going to do a full report on the Grammys but since I am sure you’ve already seen the performances & formed your own opinions, I’ve decided to throw in something special–a pickle eatin’ bumpette, known as Snookers.
There’s just something about Nicole Polizzi (aka Snooki) that I can’t get enough of. Even if she is orange and often unclassy, I can’t help but to find her charming, sweet, and incredibly hilarious (see pickle pic above). And even if the show does center around young guidos and guidettes binge drinking and fisting pumping til’ the break of dawn (behavior I do not promote), no one can deny that it’s often a part of young people’s transitioning lives. Sure, it definitely goes a little overboard on Jersey Shore, but being messy is a part of life, and a part of growing into mature adulthood. Besides, most people who watch the show do not intend on being the next Snooki/The Situation. We take it for what it is, which is, entertainment without a fake plot/tanline.
Check out the pint size bouffant that is Snooki, in action at the Grammys, below.
PANT$$$ ON THE GROUND
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com
I think the 62-year-old dude, known as General Larry Platt, deserves some dough! Or a nice retirement home in Miami. Cheesecake on the lanai?! Something!
General Larry Platt, was shot in the eye as a child, attacked by K-9 dogs, suffered beatings, & calls himself a “general of the civil rights movement.” And he ain’t lyin. Check out this photograph of Platt at the age of 16 (on the left, looking directly into the camera) singing during a march in the 1960s.
Platt organized sit-ins in the South and worked with the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. He was beaten during the Bloody Sunday march from Selma, Ala., to Montgomery.
He, of all people, deserves 15 minutes of fame and definitely deserves some cheddar (isn’t that what kids are calling it these days?).
Check out The General’s plea, below.
EMPIRE STATE OF MIND II (THE CRAZY EYE REMIX FT. STEPHEN COLBERT)
By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com

How Alicia Keys kept a straight face during this is beyond me.
Wearing a hoodie with facial expressions only he can manage, Colbert appeared during Alicia’s performance on The Colbert Report and dropped the following lines:
“Shoppin’ mall is close, my community is gated/ My shorties are all private-school educated/ Home theater system, 60-inch plasma. Clean suburban air, much better for my asthma/ Still hit the city, Times Square, keep it real/ Hard Rock Cafe for the appetizer deal/ M&M Store, Disney Store, I’m in heaven/ I own this town from 41st to 47/ Take you to ‘The Lion King,’ that show is fantastic/ Leave half an hour early so I can beat the traffic/ I can get home really fast, driver rocks an E-Z Pass/ Land of cheaper gas and the upper middle class.” <--HA!
Check out the always lovely Alicia Keys performing the New York anthem (with Stephen Colbert), below.
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Alicia Keys – Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down | ||||
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