GLEE 101: DOLPHINS ARE GAY SHARKS (AND OTHER VALUABLE LESSONS)

By: Rob Brayl
For BiggerThanBeyonce.Com


Last night, right after AI (at 9:28PM to be specific), Glee’s four-month hiatus came to an end.

Between the Rolling Stone Cover, Fox Promos, “Gleeks” taking over Facebook/Twitter, and the cast appearing everywhere from the White House to the Oprah Winfrey Show, the premiere of the pop culture phenomenon hasn’t exactly been hush hush.

Before I rant on last night’s episode though, I must say shout out to JAYMA MAYS! The cute wide-eyed strawberry topped actress who got tongue twisted with Will Schuester last night, graduated from my skool (Radford University)! She’s also from Grundy, Virginia (which is a neighboring town in the middle of nowhere, near where I grew up), and it always makes me proud to see people from my neck of the woods doing something with their lives. Ok, now that I’m done being ghetto, I’ll continue…

So last night’s premiere was full of life lessons that I thought I should outline for your benefit, so get your pens ready for Glee 101:

Lesson #1: Dolphins are just gay sharks (come on, if you didn’t know this, you have no marine-dar)

Lesson #2: Some guys you thought were sweet can quickly become douchebags (when they only think with their trombones)

Lesson #3: Being the outcast in High School simply means you are destined for big things (or a drink in the face, which in some cultures probably means you are the shit)

Lesson #4: Music has the power to make you truly popular (where it counts, which is on the inside)

Lesson #5: There’s nothing better than a breakup revenge song (especially when you can perform it in front of the selfish jerk who took you for granted)

Now that your brain is drained from that strenuous academic lesson, I’ll feed your Glee-diction with the cast on Oprah, below.

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