I stroke the devil’s backbone
Then read The Bible
And I try to let go of the guilt that stains my brain
The guilt that’s been coated on like a mask
Layers of it drip into my unconsciousness
And I feel confusion and pain
I feel outside myself
I feel drained

Is this a blessing or a curse?
Is this God or just a ghost?
A ghost created by the church
One embedded beneath the surface
Of my sinful skin
Why repress something I don’t feel I asked for to being with?
If there is a God
And His hands created me
Am I not everything He intended me to be?

If you believe God makes no mistakes
Then how can you say
I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY

I AM GORGEOUS
Even in all your forbidden ugly disconnection
I alone carry enough energy
To connect my brokenness
And God
Well
I believe He sees the me
You refuse to embrace
He turns the sin and the scabs
And even your distaste
Into grace

And I am whole again
In all the misunderstood desires
That calculate equations
In my miserable memory of wrong and right

I am more than this shallow self infliction
I am more than your emptiness of judgments
I AM ENOUGH

And I will rise again
In a natural normal guiltless truth
That cleanses the dust
Of my psychosis